So I was talking to a friend last week and he tells me that
he has a thing for me. I already know where this is going but I indulge because
my life has been pretty ridiculous lately and entertaining the mediocre seemed
like a good distraction. So I ask him why he likes me. He says because of our
banter. I will admit that I am a witty chick and 85% of all of my male
friendships were based on the fact that I can keep sparring going pretty
effortlessly. So once again there is no surprise that my easy going attitude
and my snappy comebacks were the reasons that he thinks he likes me. So in his
head he already thinks he’s going to be the new thing in my life and he is
going to get me out of my funk.
You see I’ve kind of retreated from the world I use to know.
Why? Well because I am outgrowing it. I don’t drink, I don’t eat out a lot, I
don’t stay out late or go to clubs, and I can’t tell you what’s on top 40 these
days. I prefer to spend my down time researching and enjoying my family. Well
most people see this as a depressing life for a 30 yr old and they think I need
fixing. That doesn’t bother me so much as his notion that we will be a great
couple simply because I have a slick mouth.
This guy knows absolutely nothing about me. So we get to
talking and just discussing likes and dislikes and, as I presumed, we are complete
opposites. He’s the average guy who likes movies, music, comics, cartoons, and
being the life of the party. I am a hippy earth goddess who likes arts,
literature, and conversation. He’s a gym freak and I am a couch potato. We don’t
even practice the same religion so needless to say this isn’t a match made in
heaven.
I guess my concern is why do guys think that just because we’re
friends we would make good mates? Now I will admit that I have dated a few of
my friends but that doesn’t mean that all of my guy friends are relationship
material. I also wonder what in the world is it that makes people think that
the way someone makes them feel is enough to build a relationship.
I mean we have known each other for over 5 years and we don’t
know anything about each other. He doesn’t know what my goals are or what I
want out of life yet he wants to be the man in my life. He doesn’t even know
what that entails. There is so much more to people than the physical or the
initial chemistry. I am at a point where I have to be comfortable that what I’m
investing in will yield dividends. I have excellent chemistry with so many
people but that will never be the basis for a relationship……again.
You see, I’ve dated a guy because of our battle of wits. It
was fun and interesting and passionate. It didn’t provide any security or
comfort. And when the passion wasn’t there it was easy to seek it elsewhere
than work on what we had. There was no longevity in chemistry and I think it
should be one of the components in a relationship and not the main one.
Needless to say I am not going to entertain these advances
anymore. It isn’t fair to either of us and my eyes are glued to a very
different prize.
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